If female peehole play alone isn't enough for you, I have a very weird BDSM clip for you today. Today we'll be mixing peehole sounding with cervix play and cervix stretching. She has giant piercings, tied to string, holding her floppy pussy lips open, and there's some speculum play with the cervix penetration. This is the same woman from the stretched vagina orgasming video. She is definitely a kinky freak and this is not the last we'll be seeing of her.

I'm pretty sure cervix penetration scars your insides up; I also just can't imagine it feels good. There's a reason having a baby hurts and dilating the cervix takes so long. cervix penetration with speculum holding her open.

I realized, in the beginning of this blog of the weird, macabre and questionably sexy, I did quite a few videos of peehole sounding. It has occurred to me that all of those were being done by men. Never fear, women get into peehole play too.

This one is a lesbian though, so don't get too excited, boys.

Santa rewards his little, blonde bimbo... I mean helper, after she's worked so hard through Christmas. She even gets her own special Christmas present.

Christmas special. Frosty needs love too. Furthermore, she’s fucking his carrot nose. Two fetishes in one!

Santa Claus might be late while making the rounds tonight. Of course, if you got into an orgy with three sluts and your little elf helper, you might be late making some rounds too.

I might have to think about leaving something besides cookies and milk now.

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. The holiday season has seen me coming(cumming?) and going quite a bit and I just haven't had time for much else. I come baring Christmas spirit with me today and for the next few days though!

What do you mean spelling Santa in the special cum snow won't make him come...cum faster?

The faster you get here, Santa, the sooner I can put weird stuff like this away.

Men aren't the only one who love blowup dolls. But we've all seen a woman humping a squeaky male blowup doll and it's just not sexy in any way. Actually, this isn't the least bit sexy either, but it is way funnier than your typical blowup dolls videos.

Today I want to introduce you to this weird product I found. It's an alternative for blowup dolls and plushies. When you have a plushie sex fetish and a blowup dolls fetish, this little sex toy is just what you need.

Amputees need love too!

It just weirds me out that this is a specific fetish, like people fantasize specifically about people who are missing appendages. Do they fantasize about specific appendages missing or will any arm, leg or torso do?

Somehow, the amputee fetish sex still creeps me out less than the girl with a tail.

As an extension of the massage fetish videos I've been posting, I wanted to do one on tantra.

This isn’t weird so much as I just think everyone should see it, because the tantra massage fetish is kind of interesting - and that is the whole point of this blog: funny weird and interesting. What makes this video weird is that she looks entirely dead while he’s 'igniting her lusts'. She doesn't even look happy about receiving a massage!

Apparently it’s common to get a free erotic Japanese massage in exchange for letting a company (of which there are many making money off the erotic Japanese massage fetish) film you. The women are everyday women that walk-in to get a massage oil treatment. At least the ones who aren’t squealing and squeaking the whole time are. The ones making high-pitched noises that make your dog cry in pain are bad actresses poorly capitalizing on the everyday erotic Japanese massage fetishist being too stupid to realize it's not real.

Tired of all those shemale fetish videos?

This is one of those sweet, cuddly, erotic massage fetish pornos made for women by women. I don’t get it, personally. As a woman, when I want to watch porno, I don’t want to watch people being sweet and cuddly, I want to watch people fuck. I do understand how traditional ‘lesbian’ porn wouldn’t appeal to real lesbians (you know, with the insane press-on fingernails they finger each other with), but this doesn’t appeal on a sexual level to me at all. It is nice and relaxing though, so maybe if you have blue balls it will ease it faster?

Someone experiment and get back to me.

If you thought Buck Angel being fucked by a man was awkward and brain explode worthy, try this out. Buck Angel gets it on with another female-to-male transgender for a mind-blowing shemale fetish video.

Now I have to ask, is this gay, straight, lesbian or just pure shemale fetish?

Wait, did I just post normal sex? That can't be right! This can’t be normal sex. What's to laugh at about normal sex?

Oh wait, that pussy is on a man!

Watch Buck Angel's manly pussy get it on with another man.

And this post will bring to a close the Predator Vs. Xenomorph sex series. I think it's obvious who the winner is, but let me know in the comments who you think dominated the field. Was it the xenomorph sex for mutilating women and men alike or the Predators for raping each other and .... well this.

Unlike Xenomorph sex, Predators will actually have sex with their own kind. Just check out this loving couple. Okay, maybe they're not so loving and she's about to rape him. Whatever.

The fourth installment in the Predator Vs. Xenomorph sex series. Only one to go so I hope you're rooting for a winner.

The third installment of the Predator Vs. Xenomorph sex series. And we ain't done with the xenomorph sex yet!

There's no proof that this guy is about to get his asshole raped and ripped open other than the comment added to the bottom, which makes it look fittingly like a demotivational poster - I'd be demotivated if a xenomorph were about to rape me.

The second photo in the Predator Vs. Xenomorph sex series.

When the eggs from those vagina bursters hatch, this is what you get. A very horny xenomorph looking for sex.

This woman doesn't look nearly frightened enough to be having sex with a xenomorph. I mean, she has that one arm out like she's trying to get away, but she doesn't really look like she's trying.

This is the first part of the Predator Vs. Xenomorph sex series.

Technically these are facehuggers failing to find the proper hole - or at least most of them are failing, two did find the throat just fine - but just think, once those eggs hatch into chest bursters it's going to be a serious case of guro hentai for these poor raped toons.

While we're on the subject of stomach inflation and weird hentai with stomach bulging, I have to show everyone this Billy & Mandy porn by a very talented artist named Wagner.

Talking about human toilets always makes me think of tentacle monsters. I mean, how often do they actually look like they're cumming? They usually just look like they're jettisoning a bunch of piss all over you, because let's face it, no man or monster can probably produce enough cum to inflate you and make you puke it out - especially since that's physically impossible.

This picture demonstrates exactly what I'm talking about in case you've never had the 'pleasure' of viewing, and laughing at, belly bulging and stomach inflation.

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Speaking of using body parts incorrectly, weird hentai with nipple fucking is probably worse than this, but just in case you didn't know, a person is not a human toilet and the asshole is not supposed to hold piss in any shape or form.

Another weird hentai video, but this one features a shemale fetish with huge tits, I mean really, really, bigger than a man's body huge. She gets milked and then her nipples are actually fucked. No, I don't mean they tit fuck her, I mean the men push their dicks into her nipples and fuck her nipples.

I said weird hentai, didn't I?

We have live-action tentacle porn, can we get this in live action too?

Now that you're just waking up from a Halloween candy- or alcohol-induced coma, I hope your headache isn't too bad and that you didn't wake up with this on your arm, or riding your dick. 

So it seems Starfire from Teen Titans is getting into the Halloween spirit. She's just trying to find a few people to come to the party tonight. Think you can cum?


As funny as the image is, those tits are looking really saggy.

I am tempted to do this as a Halloween costume though. Who thinks I should!?

Here at Mystery Sex Fetish Theater, we love Halloween. No other night of the year can you dress up as your darkest desires and hide the fact that it's your fantasy. Always dreamed you were a monster sent to ravage and rape women? You can do it on Halloween - minus the real raping, but hey, enough women get drunk on Halloween you could probably have a damn good time.

Always wanted to be an Xmen porn character like Wolverine? Well you probably won't look like him, but suck in that gut, put on some yellow spandex and try anyway! The redhead you find to be Jean Grey probably won't mind.

No longer must you settle for weird hentai tentacle monsters that are poorly drawn, you can have poorly costumed ones in real life! She even fights back with a sword in true, lame, faux action girl style, like all the weird hentai girls before her.

I think this counts as tentacle monster vore, too, because it looks like she's inside of something while being tentacle raped. ....what do you mean intestines don't have penises?

World of Whorecraft dwarf, blood elf and human orgy. What no… backward leg things? What are those things called? The ones with tentacles on their faces and hooves. They always get left out of the alliance orgies! I think I’m jaded, because I got bored during this orgy. The orgy was actually as boring as the story in the second World of Whorecraft episode.

Evelyn fucks a yeti in this really weird costume video. Screw sparkly vampires, World of Warcraft porn trolls, and werewolves, yetis are what all the cute porn stars want to fuck!

World of Whorecraft troll masturbating - is it just me or does she look like a green version of the pig girl? - undead guy getting dick sucked - does that make her a necrophiliac? - and then fucking a succubus - who looks like she has a tail stump. Unlike pig girl, that troll can probably find your truffle.

I know this is just spoof porn but come on! I can do better makeup than this. I have no idea what the story is. I stopped paying attention and just scrolled to the sex scenes after episode 2.

A girl with pig ears and pig tail butt plug crawling in the mud. This girl isn't even a BBW obese girl, like the last posted big, honkin' pig.

I think whoever came up with the term 'big, beautiful woman' needs to be shot. It no longer refers to women who are just pleasantly plump and look good with a little meat and some huge tits. It now refers to the morbidly obese, like this woman, who uses those flapjack tits to give a facial massage to some man.

She's so fat her tits look like a set of balls hanging off her chest! I’m pretty sure when you’re so fat your nipples point down, you should put down the fucking fork!

If you went through with getting female vaginal piercings like the super fisting video woman, and chose to use them like the orgasming cervix woman, then cleaning them is going to be of the utmost importance. Don't want to be catching any diseases from all those lubricants you're using... or other fluids that are probably filling in the scab-ridden holes - and I'm referring to the piercing hole, not your loose pussy.

A speculum shows the contractions of the cervix while a woman uses a vibrator on her clit. Those pussy lips are being held open by some seriously stretched out vaginal piercings with string tied through them.

Contrary to this subspacing, BDSM brutal piercing play, this is not how you actually get a female vaginal piercing. It's usually much faster and, sadly, there's not a vibrator involved. Maybe they should start adding that. While on the verge of orgasm they pierce you. You'd come down off the near-orgasm pretty fast, but the pain might be dulled.

Hm... it might make it worse too though since some people get so sensitive the closer they get. What a conundrum. Someone experiment with that for me and let me know how it works.

Hey, I have that same massager! What do you mean she has needles sticking out of her pussy, tits, face and mouth? I hadn’t noticed. This is some serious BDSM needle play. Brutal and a little bloody. Don't worry, she's not high, she's actually in 'subspace' which is what BDSM brutal lovers go into when they are really getting off on the pain.

I like body piercing, female genital piercings are fucking sexy, but this... Ick.

And why is it fat girls in porn wear those half corsets? Those only make you look fatter, you know.

Do you want some female vaginal piercings like the woman doing this super fisting? Don't worry, the vaginal piercings won't make your asshole that loose, but if you get that many outer labia genital piercings it will probably make your pussy lips sag. If you want a female genital piercing, you have to decide where to get it first.

Yet another level on the bizarre fisting circuit. Double anal or vagina fisting isn't all that weird considering some of the things I've shown, but the piercings on this pussy are gnarly! They are enough to make this double anal super fisting really weird.

I received a request for a bizarre fisting video the other day. I was completely baffled by this request. What on Earth would be more bizarre than fisting normally is? I mean, it's already completely weird and unnatural - vaginas and assholes are not supposed to be that stretched and loose.

Then, I encountered this video and I realized what exactly constitutes bizarre fisting.

Bonus weird fetish points for being a very weird super orgy with weird object insertion, too.

Two nuns sucking off a... priest? And then demonstrating some boring vagina fisting skills. At least the triple anal penetration girl made noise like she was alive... even though we all know sex industry workers are dead inside already.

“For it is the cock of Christ, respect it as you would His own.”

“And why do we need to do vagina fisting, Father?”

“Because Christ has premature ejaculation problems, but wishes the brides of God to practice proper pussy stretching.”

I was going to do a post, and I had planned to do this from the very day I started this blog, about how much I love(d) efukt.com. Don’t get me wrong, I do love it, but I haven’t been there in many, many months now. Why? Maybe because I’ve been busy with this and other things, but I doubt it - because really, who’s too busy for a good laugh; a MSFT always has time to laugh at bad porn. I lost interest because I realized the selection on efukt.com is rather limited and the owner repeats posts very often.

I have yet to resort to doing such a thing, granted this is all still rather young to me. But trust me, with all the weird stuff I’ve seen I don’t think I’ll ever run out of material.

I found the strangest product a few weeks ago and decided to give it a try. This product claims to give you a healthy, pinker pussy. You know, just in case your pussy isn't really the appropriate color or looks sickly - you gotta cover up those STDs somehow.

The product is My New Pink Button and it's a dye for your pussy.

Get your girl a new pussy color once you teach your girlfriend to squirt.

Personally, I'm not sure why you'd want to squirt, especially if it's a waterfall from squirting sluts, but to each their own. I would hate to have to wash and dry my sheets, wash and dry the table, the couch or anything else I decided to have sex or masturbate on top of. Seriously, that I only get myself messy is what makes me better than men during masturbation. I use some toilet paper to wipe myself afterward and that's it.

But, if for some strange reason, you want to teach your girlfriend to squirt and your girlfriend wants to squirt, this is your how to guide.

This video features two squirting sluts. One woman masturbates over the face of another until she squirts on her and the other masturbates while lapping up the juices of her friend.

The lesbian version of feet XXX rape. Of course, this one was all staged and everyone involved was aware it was happening.

I realized why the foot rape video bothered me so much so I thought I'd share my story with everyone. I mentioned before in this XXX foot massage video how I had my finger's sucked while on a Grey Hound bus and so I'm going to recount the tale. Just as the foot rape fetish guy gets off while girls are sleeping, so did the guy on the bus.

Maybe this is all about a sleeping fetish.

You know, it's one thing to lick and suck on feet and toes when the receiver is awake, like the guy from this other feet XXX video, but this guy takes the cake. He gets women drunk - or drugs them with Ambien - at parties at his house, offers them a place to pass out and while they're passed out he goes into the room and diddles their feet.

If you are into guro, but not really into the necrophiliac's fun then you can try this method to choose the best girl and eat her.

CHOOSING THE BEST GIRL

by Sam

Choosing the best girls for your larder is a rather complicated matter. First you must decide what recipe the girl will be used for, then the choices can be narrowed. Then you must prepare the body based on the use to be made of the meat. Different recipes and different cooking methods determine the age, size, and preparation method.

I know most of you were told not to play with your food, but girlmeat is an exception to that rule. Before butchering, you should put her to good use. Sucking your cock is always great, but fucking her and then stuffing her cunt with your cum still inside her provides an interesting flavor addition to the stuffing mix. Also a well used cunt will be more muscular and therefore more meaty.

The best girls are between 14 and 20 years of age, with proportionately developed bodies. They should be neither fat nor skinny, except in special cases.

Breast sizes should be moderate. Breasts that are too large or that have been lactating will have large milk duct glands and a fair amount of fatty tissue and will not be the best tasting. Ideally breasts should be firm, with moderate sized nipples, and well rounded. Some people like puffy nipples if the girls is to be barbecued as these larger nipples can be sliced off early in the cooking process so that the girl can watch you eat her while she's still alive. Although somewhat tough and fatty these nipples are tasty when eaten rare, dripping with barbecue sauce.

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Now, just to be clear, there really isn't a definition for what guro is and what guro isn't; it is only a shortening of gruesome so what's gruesome to one, may not be to another, obviously since some people whack off to guro hentai. Guro is usually pretty bloody though, or at least dead/dying things. Some people have even included coprophilia - that's a shit fetish - but everyone knows that people who jerk off in shit or while watching someone else shit, are way more fucked up than guro and snuff people.

In case the snuff and guro with men, furries and strange, strange movies aren't enough for you, I have collected a whole variety of female guro hentai just for your sick, fetish pleasure.

Well if you're like me, you're getting a little tired of those anthro sex photos from the last week, so let's move on to something else.

I'm a big horror movie fan and after having watched everything Hollywood could churn out, anything noteworthy from the Brits and even some things from New Zealand, I started turning to B-rated horror movies - okay, maybe they're more like Q-rated horror movies - to get my horror movie fix.

Sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised at the quality of these movies.

Sometimes I'm not.

And sometimes, I'm shocked at how people try to make horror porno films, but can't get anyone to take off their clothes so they just classify it as horror. This movie is something like that. It's called Maskhead and there is no discernible plot to the entire movie.

What it does have, is a lot of really weird fetishes. It's like someone watched every video, photo and article I ever posted, added a Plasterhead style killer and tried to make a sick, fetish video. ...only none of the actors wanted to get naked after reading how shitty the script was.

What you end up with, is this train wreck of a balloon fetish video with focus on the balloon popping fetish, food eating fetish, pissing fetishes, dog play fetishes, weird costumes like clowns and finally, snuff.

Just to prove one of my previous statements about how 'if it exists, furries are into it', here is a guro hentai - the anime version of snuff films, though they aren't always dead in guro - scene just for you anthro sex lovers.

When anthro horses aren't hung enough, when even sexy anthro whales are too small, become a sexy anthro dinosaur.

When being hung like a sexy anthro horse just isn't enough, you could always turn to whale meat.

Anthropomorphic animals are what furries in fursuits wish they could be. Sexy anthro horses are what small-dicked furries wish they can be. Just check out this Arabian stud drawn by RogMinotaur. Who wouldn't wish they were that hung?

Sexy anthro horses, when normal dicks - and even yogurt shooting dildos - aren't enough.

.... wait, I take back what I said about the foot massage video yesterday. If it has to end like this, then I’m not interested. I had my fingers sucked once - while I was asleep on a Greyhound bus (that’ll teach me to sleep). It was the grossest feeling in the world. I can’t imagine the feeling of saliva squishing between my toes. EWWWW.

For the record, some of those toenails look fucking nasty. Also, I’ve licked some rough textured things before - and if you try to say your feet aren't rough from calluses you're a damn liar and probably think your shit smells like roses. I can't imagine that feels good on your tongue, the licking a foot thing, not shit.



Are you a foot fetishist wishing I'd stop making snarky comments about ugly feet? Do you wish I'd just go away so you could jack off to pretty feet? Wish granted! Hit up the foot rape blog for everything foot related, and without me at all.

There’s nothing really weird about this. It's just an 11 minute foot massage. Fetish, perhaps, but nothing kinky or sexual happens. The weirdest thing about it, is that it's on a porn site. That in itself may be weird, but not kinky.

I just wanted to say, I want to borrow this guy’s slave for a while. I would love an 11 minute foot massage. I want this erotic Japanese massage too, though I might be asleep before the good stuff.



Are you just coming back time and time again hoping for more foot related material? More feet XXX videos and foot massages and toe sucking? Well, get a life, you nasty perv! Or go check out the foot rape blog which caters, lovingly, to that particular fetish.

I’m between too relaxed to move and horny. Quite a conundrum. At least she doesn’t squeal like this annoying schoolgirl massage recipient, making this massage a believable one.

Most of the massage is also accurate; they never massage the breast tissue directly, only the surrounding skin and muscles, they massage the stomach in the correct direction - right side to left side in a horse-shoe shape, the client is lifted to remove the robe instead of being asked to do so, enough massage oil is used without drowning her in it, etc.

Full school girl outfit during an erotic Japanese massage - white socks included. Even if massaging a Japanese school girl is your fetish, this girl probably squeaks way too much to enjoy and get yourself off to.

Is it just me or does the woman being massaged look absolutely horrified? I know she's acting and all, but really, she has that genuine 'what am I supposed to be doing?' horrified look on her face.

While an orgy in theory might sound fun - and maybe one with condoms could be - this little show should probably be re-titled, “You too can have and share HIV with five men.”

To keep with the theme of hygiene I got started with prolapsed assholes and pissing inside pussies, today we're going to pop zits. Some people are incredibly turned on by the feel of puss rushing through the skin and bursting through the surface. Everyone has a fetish, for some people, that fetish is pimple popping.

Favorite zit fetish post from that site:

When TW and I were still an item, it seemed like there were several dynamics at work. When she wandered in the room and started going over my back, it was simultaneously soothing and a little bit scary, since she went after those blemishes on my back with a vengeance. It was certain I would suffer some pain. It was also certain that several "itchy spots" on my back would stop itching for the forseeable future. There was a good chance she'd draw blood. There was also an excellent chance that when she was done, she would be "in the mood" if I followed her from the room quickly enough after she was done. Since "in the mood" was an infrequent occurrence, I suppose this was a positive reinforcement for me to sit there and take it.

Just to get you off, here's a big, juicy zit.



This actually reminds me of yogurt cumshots from huge dicks. Are pimples phallic symbols? Maybe if they're big enough.

Cunt pumps that make you look like you're prolapsing aren't enough on the weirdness scale. Make your girlfriend your human toilet fetish project by pissing in her pussy. At least this girl's cunt doesn't look like it's inside out, just really worn out.

To top it off, she gets to be a piss drinker, too.

This is supposedly a cunt pumping session, but that pussy looks more like a sexy prolapse, just less gooey. Just as disgusting though.

Are they really arguing about which parts have to be fattened up? That whole thing looks like it's been eating Cheese Puffs and playing WoW for a month; fattening it up more looks like a bad idea.

Speaking of deformities and sex, your asshole isn't supposed to be inside out, is it? And if it falls out you should probably go to a doctor, or at the least try to push it back in, not play around with it like it's sexy.

I'm a little scared that thing is going to jump out and eat me. It kind of looks like one of those worms from Tremor - you know, the one that was hanging half out of the wall after smashing its head open.

This is moving a long way from ninjas fucking knights or Naruto porn, but omfg this girl has a freakin' tail! Is it just me or is that thing wagging?

This guy claims he's a sexy ninja but he looks more like he's wearing a really bad wrestling costume. Watch as he jerks off, just for you, in his ninja/lucha libre costume.

Want ninjas who fuck other ninjas instead of ninjas fucking knights? Or maybe it was the gay scenario for the ninja that bothered you? How about some Naruto porn?

Of course, you might get fined because I'm pretty sure all these characters are under 18. Oh well! You only live once!

A ninja fucks a knight in the ass. I think the pirates are going to lose the Pirates Vs. Ninjas batte now if they don’t have the knights on their side.

Cartoons are people too. Didn't you know? I'm sure those who get their rocks off watching hentai and other cartoon porn already know about this as it happened quite a few years ago, but I thought I'd tell the story for those who aren't aware - it really is a funny little story.

...well it's not quite porn this time, but let's talk more comic book sex!

Who hasn't wanted to see Joker and Batman fall in love? Obviously all that animosity between them stems from a deep attraction that neither wants to admit to. We see this in comic books all the time and it usually manifests with violence: Sabretooth and Wolverine, for instance.

Since I just recently covered some X-men porn and a Ben 10 orgy, let's look at an X-men orgy.

So while we're defiling some of my happy Disney memories with Disney porn, let's sex up some more modern cartoons. Ben 10, a show with an underage hero, makes for perfect porno fodder, right?

Someone thought Ben 10 sex was awesome.

X-Men and other grown up comic book heroes or even cartoon heroes who get themselves into adult situations - Family Guy, for instance - aren't all that strange as far as fetishes go. If cartoon sex gets your rocks off then those things are a pretty safe route.

But when the hell did we start defiling my childhood memories with Disney sex cartoons?

Well, might as well watch Jasmine get her cartoon pussy plowed.

Can't get enough Xmen porn? Try this.


Let me introduce Sex Men by Sieren. A porno version of all your most favorite X-men characters. The original is in Portuguese, just so you know, but I have a few translated pages that I want to share. Mostly, I want to show you Mystique and Storm getting it on; did you know Storm has a serious sadism fetish?

Making hentai out of adult comic book characters is mildly understandable, especially since much of the X-Men comic is sexual. Really, there's just no excuse for the shitty animation. Surely someone with better art and animation skills has a hard-on for some of the X-girls and can do better.

Not entirely convinced ear cleaning is sexual?

Check this hentai: about 14 mins in a tentacle monster is poking this anime girl’s ear while stroking her.

Aside from the ear probing, there's a lot of other stuff going on with this video. Of course, when is there not a lot of weird stuff going on with a hentai? The fact that the girl isn't related to the tentacle monster is probably some small miracle - wait... she might be his sister.

I think ear cleaning - Asian style, where they have hard ear wax and use ear picks - is the newest type of porn. Just look at him having an orgasm - eargasm? - around 2:40.

Not convinced that guy was eargasming from his ear cleaning? Watch this clip from the movie Bonten and see how these women squirm and moan while their ears are cleaned. Personally, I'd be afraid of a ruptured eardrum from all that movement. Being a screamer and shaker would be as bad for eargasms as it is for small, thin-walled apartments.

Who needs to spend money on a vase or a sex plushie when you can just buy some yoga classes and get the job done yourself?

As a non-penis baring individual I’m not sure if, if I had a penis, I’d be jealous of not being able to do this myself or if I’d find it weird.

As a woman, I’m positive that I wish all men would learn to do this and leave women alone unless they offer such a service - or you paid for it. Your dick is not as tasty as you think.

Don't just rub on things like balloons and inflatable zebras, actually stick that dick in something!

Women and gay men stick things in themselves all the time for the amusement of perverts and MSFTs so it's only fitting that men should stick their dicks into strange things for our amusement as well.

Would you feel bad if you were on the beach playing beach volleyball and someone was more interested in the ball than you?

Beach ball sex is like balloon sex, but without the risk of popping. So if you’re into not popping balloons for sexual pleasure, maybe you should look into a beach ball.

Did you, once upon a time, fear you were a pedophile because you got excited everytime you were at a children's party? Did you later discover it was not the snot-nosed children that were exciting you, but the smell of latex and the feel of electro-static prickling the hair on the back of your neck that got your cock standing on end - or pussy all gushing wet?

Hey, just because I told you how to modify a sex plushie doesn't mean I'm going to tell you how to have sex with an inflatable zebra.

In fact, I'll do you one better and show you a video of how to do it. No, it's not me teaching. This guy is going to teach you, because according to his photo and video library, he's an inflatable sex toy loving expert. Let him share his inflatable-animal loving knowledge with you.

Women have a vegetable fetish so apparently guys have fruit fetishes.

One of the comments on this video says this is a ‘classic’ technique. WTF? Guys regularly waste fruit doing this? At least veggies are still edible after a girl uses them! - assuming she’s not diseased.

More watermelon fucking! After this video and the last one, watermelon will never just be a happy, summer day fruit again.

And I don’t think I can ever look at whipped cream in the same way either.

Close your eyes while watching this. It actually sounds like normal sex - well slightly squishy, but still mostly normal sex.

Open your eyes and … he’s fucking a watermelon. Yes, a watermelon. Women use vegetables in the ass and men use fruit.

Maybe vegetables in the ass is just too gay for you. Well, that’s definitely a vegetable of some kind in her pussy… wtf is it? I’m not really a veggie girl, though the look of that thing makes me reconsider.

Toys or cocks in the ass just don't do it for you? How about vegetables? Watch this girl stuff a cucumber up her ass. Oh, and she's wearing a cat mask too if that does anything for you.

So maybe you don't like your ass gaping to be forced? If not, this woman seems to delight in it. She delights in anal so much that she wants more cocks in her ass at once. How about three in the butt at the same time?

I have no idea when a skill like this would become useful in life, but clearly her pussy is just as stretched out as that ass, so it’s like having 2 skills. Or is it 6 skills? Is it one skill per cock you can fit in your ass and cunt?

A happy fourth of July ass destruction for you!

It doesn't really look like this guy meant for it to be sexual, and the laughter of his friends suggests they're all very drunk. Nevertheless, this firework is between his bare ass cheeks and someone probably finds that sexy.

So here you are MSFTS, an M-60 lit in a guy's ass. Happy Independence Day!

In case you guys think I'm being too vicious with the trampling cock fetish and other cock torture fetishes, let's move on to some other body parts. How about some anus stretching instead?

Watch this girl get her asshole gaping and stretching on toys and dicks. Bonus higheels fetish points for doing it in heels for no reason.

While I'm on all this cock torture, let's talk about condoms. Be warned, this is a post from a few years ago when I was still in college.

This isn't really a fetish so much as something I just want to get off my chest.

Don’t get this wrong based on the title. I would never want to be a man and when the brief, fleeting thought has come into my mind I can’t help but laugh at the vision of myself without my wonderful breasts and with those funny, saggy, dangly bits between my legs. The female form is far more attractive and aesthetically more pleasing than the male form and I would have it no other way.

What got me to write this though, is that I heard a couple boys talking at lunch and they were discussing how one had not gotten laid last night despite his girlfriend ‘wanting it so bad’. He then proceeded to complain that she didn’t keep condoms in her room and so they couldn’t fuck. My first instinct was, why didn’t you bring a condom with you if you were planning to get laid?

Of course, the friends began discussing this by his friend saying, “If she wanted to get fucked then she should have had condoms there.” HA! Really? Is this what all men think? If so, I have a rude awakening for you. We pay a lot of money each year simply for being female. The least a man could do is pay for the condoms, no matter who it is that wants to get laid. If you can’t afford them, guess what, you don’t need to be rutting with anyone.

So why do I think that girls who plan on having sex don’t have a duty to keep condoms around?(barring prostitutes who should carry multiple condoms of extreme thickness). It’s the man’s job. Until a man bleeds monthly and has to pay the extreme cost for the necessity of pads or tampons, until a man has to pay for birth control, until a man has to pay for bras(which some men probably should) the man is the one who should have the duty to provide condoms.

Women spend, $135 on feminine necessities(bras, pads, tampons) and this is a low end estimate assuming that you have only two bras and purchase only pads, not tampons as well. Assuming you use birth control, there is an extra $140 or more per year. Condoms cost about $10 for a nice size box. I guarantee, no matter how talented you think you are, you will not need to purchase more than 4 of these boxes. If you do, your girlfriend is probably wishing you would get off her already. So suck it up already. Buy the condoms if you want laid and I’ll make sure I don’t bleed on your furniture. We’re even.

Some may not consider peehole stretching to be cock torture, but I would, so to continue the theme, let's watch this stomp fetish video of a cock being trampled in Nike 90’s. Apparently the shoe type is as important as the cock being stepped on because that's actually part of the video title. How very very weird.

Now that we've gotten sounding down and you know how to electrocute your dick while getting off, how about we really stretch that urethra out? Try not one sounding rod, but two!

So now we're all set on this peehole sounding thing and you've probably run out and bought a sounding rod to get started stretching your urethra. No? Well, you probably did watch the sounding rod video so the next step is to watch electro stimulation sounding.

So after posting Hot and Cold, Mostly Hot, aka hot wax in urethra, I discovered that the virus scanner Trend Micro has Tube8.com marked as a threat and has the entire site blocked off. I submitted to have it unblocked, but apparently other people have as well and Trend Micro just doesn't care.

Want to know a good way around it? Download and use Firefox web browser instead. Tube8.com worked just fine for me even while Trend Micro was running its live-scan so if you had trouble accessing the Hot and Cold video, give it another shot using Firefox.

But hey, pervs and MSFTs - I rather like that as the shorthand of Mystery Sex Fetish Theater's regular viewers - let's overload Trend Micro with requests to unblock Tube8.com! If nothing else, we'll know we annoyed the hell out of them - I'm sure that's a fetish somewhere.

Okay, so you're not quite ready to put worms or hot wax down your dick hole? That's okay, they make rods specifically for gaping that pisshole. They're called sounding rods and stretching the peehole is called sounding. Give it a watch.

Watch this guy pour hot wax in his dick hole and squeeze it out. Other random cock abuse follows.

Out of this whole video the only thing I want to know about is, was that tobacco chew shooting out at the end?

My brain hurts just thinking about it.

If hot wax doesn't do it for you, watch this guy cum a worm.

So yesterday I featured cocks shooting huge cumshots of warm, plain yogurt. If you thought that was wild, check out this video.

These huge monster cocks aren't anything like yesterday's, but they have a brand new skill. They actually cum.

Man I hate when giant, rubber dicks shoot yogurt all over me. But I guess if I was making money like a pornstar, I might not mind.

If yesterday's monster ape cock didn't do it for you in the size department, this giant dildo might.

This girl wants to have the biggest orgasm ever. Apparently, “Biggest orgasm possible” translates to “I do not want to ever use my vagina again.” The fake doctors holding her while she fucks the biggest dildo ever are my favorite part of the whole video.

Want to play dress-up and pretend with a real girl instead of a crossdressing plushie yiff-er? Check out these jungle girls. The girls fuck a monster ape cock - that is definitely not Curious George sex - or something… I’m not really sure what I just watched. Was there supposed to be some kind of pretend story there or was it just a random, really badly done forest? I really wasn't aware that men liked watching jungle women get ravaged by monster apes whose dicks are bigger than the girls' bodies; that's going to be a seriously stretched vagina. Learn something new every day.

Just a little expansion from yesterday’s unicorn plushie, diaper cross dresser: His explanation for how the toy was made -

just modified a plushie from the big-box-consumer-goods-store down the street with a needle, thread, scissors, and a little extra fabric to make the pocket in the back. then i put a "masterbater" in the pocket and put a strap-on dildo through another little hole i cut and sewed (so it woudn't tear). did it one saturday morning while watching cartoons ;)

Watching cartoons. Do you know your neighbors? Cuz this is a pedophile waiting to happen. I know I watch cartoons every Saturday morning, but you know, I don’t also pretend a unicorn plushie is a baby and breastfeed it before being fucked by it and fucking it in return. Just sayin’.

Need a better and easier to understand explanation for how to rig up your own sex toy plushie?  This how to modify a sex toy plushie article should have you covered.

Is animatronic horse fucking while wearing a fursuit head too normal for you? Then let's give this video a try.

This video is 24 minutes long so if you want the full effect, be ready for a sit-in. While we watch, let's count the number of fetishes this guy pulls off in just a 24 minute span.

This is something slightly beyond normal plushie sex - because that alone is just so normal, right? But animatronic ponies aren't really 'plush' and only kind of stuffed. I guess this is a category all its own. I'm just not sure what category that would be.

So now that you know how to modify a sex plushie, where are you going to find the right equipment to make for a fun time? Well, that depends on if you're looking for a cock on your plushie or a pussy/asshole. Hell, you could even go for a mouth if you want to modify the mouth area. Get creative with these site suggestions for purchases!

For animal penises, whether realitic, fantasy or just plain weird looking, try Bad Dragon or Pink Cherry, commonly referred to just as Zeta Toys. Each site hosts a variety of realistic animal dildos ranging from dogs to dolphins, as well as fantasy creatures such as dragons and gryphons. Bad Dragon even has cores inserted into some of their larger sizes so that you can make the dildo cum right along with you. How's that for a fun ride with your plushie? Just find the dildo that fits your plushie species or find the one that you like the shape of most.

And what if you want a pussy or asshole for your plushie lover? Well, Bad Dragon also has a Fleshlight style dragoness pussy, but in truth, you'd probably be better off just buying a Fleshlight sleeve and placing that into the modified plushie. With all the variations of textures you're sure to find one you prefer. And hey, if you want a particular pussy lip shape you can try Fleshlight Girls' sleeves which are made based on a number of different porn stars. Personally, I think all those vaginas are seriously messed up; if I wanted a fantasy, I wouldn't want what looks to be gang bang wear and tear on the pussy lips. But to each their own. Maybe your plushie is a whore and you want her to know it.

This is a... nice doesn't seem like the right word. Well this is a double header with a more plushie yiff madness. Doing the fucking is a man in a fursuit - he's a fox, in case you were curious. He yiffies (that's what furries call sex) a variety of different plushies of different shapes, sizes and species. I’ll probably end up with a lot of fursuit sex in here now that I think about it, because if a weird fetish exists, the furries are already all over it.

A female sex plushie or a gay sex plushie just wouldn't seem right if s/he was only good for humping and rubbing on. Oh, you might enjoy that for a while, but soon, you'll want to actually fuck her/him - and videos like this gay plushie being fucked will only encourage you. Thankfully, modifications are easy if you have even a little sewing ability. Can you patch a torn shirt seam? Then you can modify your female or gay love doll.

If you thought only boys have plushie sex then you are dead wrong. This blonde wants to let her carebear show just how much he cares... while she rides the thick strap-on she put on him. Girls yiff plushies too.

I thought I would start with something a little tame; pluhie sex. The only one who really feels violated is the one who watches. Rudolph the Rednosed plushie takes it up the ass for his gay lover in this plushie sex video.

Think Santa knows about what Rudolph does with his free time?

Why am I here?

Well, when two people care for each other…. Just kidding.

But actually I have sat and stressed and thought about how to start this whole thing. I finally determined I was going to just start with an explanation of some of the things that led me here. It was really all about my personal (mis?)adventures with weird sex fetishes. It all began years ago. Thank you, Internet, for breaking me so severely.

So what experiences could really lead someone to make a weird sex fetish blog? Well, when I was still a teenager I met a doctor (he was an intern who wanted to be a pediatrician) on the Internet who paid me to write sexy roleplays with him. That was all well and good, except the fetishes advanced from fairly tame to gag-inducing weird. I’ll talk all about Dr. Raul Barroso later and share some of that oh-so-sexy roleplay. How much do you know about your child’s doctor?

Next, well, really at the same time as the doctor, I became an online mistress. It is amazing what people will pay you just to tell them what to do to themselves while you ‘watch’ on cam or listen in a phone call. The money from this paid my way into college. I dropped it about a semester into my freshman year just because it all started getting a little too weird - when someone’s balls light on fire from a homemade electro wand, it’s a little too far out there.

Skipping a lot of time and a lot of weird crap that’s happened to me, I encountered hair fetishism. I encountered people who wanted to get off while washing, brushing or cutting my more than 3 feet of hair. There were also those who got off on the idea of super long hair going to very short hair or even bald - just watching the hair go through such a great change was enough to get them off. I let these people pay for my videos and someone even paid for the hair that had been cut off.

Well, that seems like a suitable preamble to why I’m doing this. Now, for what exactly I’m going to do.

I’m going to find videos, stories, pictures, etc. of weird sex fetishes. Pretty simple concept. Enjoy my Mystery Sex Fetish Theater (MSFT).