Making hentai out of adult comic book characters is mildly understandable, especially since much of the X-Men comic is sexual. Really, there's just no excuse for the shitty animation. Surely someone with better art and animation skills has a hard-on for some of the X-girls and can do better.

Not entirely convinced ear cleaning is sexual?

Check this hentai: about 14 mins in a tentacle monster is poking this anime girl’s ear while stroking her.

Aside from the ear probing, there's a lot of other stuff going on with this video. Of course, when is there not a lot of weird stuff going on with a hentai? The fact that the girl isn't related to the tentacle monster is probably some small miracle - wait... she might be his sister.

I think ear cleaning - Asian style, where they have hard ear wax and use ear picks - is the newest type of porn. Just look at him having an orgasm - eargasm? - around 2:40.

Not convinced that guy was eargasming from his ear cleaning? Watch this clip from the movie Bonten and see how these women squirm and moan while their ears are cleaned. Personally, I'd be afraid of a ruptured eardrum from all that movement. Being a screamer and shaker would be as bad for eargasms as it is for small, thin-walled apartments.

Who needs to spend money on a vase or a sex plushie when you can just buy some yoga classes and get the job done yourself?

As a non-penis baring individual I’m not sure if, if I had a penis, I’d be jealous of not being able to do this myself or if I’d find it weird.

As a woman, I’m positive that I wish all men would learn to do this and leave women alone unless they offer such a service - or you paid for it. Your dick is not as tasty as you think.

Don't just rub on things like balloons and inflatable zebras, actually stick that dick in something!

Women and gay men stick things in themselves all the time for the amusement of perverts and MSFTs so it's only fitting that men should stick their dicks into strange things for our amusement as well.

Would you feel bad if you were on the beach playing beach volleyball and someone was more interested in the ball than you?

Beach ball sex is like balloon sex, but without the risk of popping. So if you’re into not popping balloons for sexual pleasure, maybe you should look into a beach ball.

Did you, once upon a time, fear you were a pedophile because you got excited everytime you were at a children's party? Did you later discover it was not the snot-nosed children that were exciting you, but the smell of latex and the feel of electro-static prickling the hair on the back of your neck that got your cock standing on end - or pussy all gushing wet?

Hey, just because I told you how to modify a sex plushie doesn't mean I'm going to tell you how to have sex with an inflatable zebra.

In fact, I'll do you one better and show you a video of how to do it. No, it's not me teaching. This guy is going to teach you, because according to his photo and video library, he's an inflatable sex toy loving expert. Let him share his inflatable-animal loving knowledge with you.

Women have a vegetable fetish so apparently guys have fruit fetishes.

One of the comments on this video says this is a ‘classic’ technique. WTF? Guys regularly waste fruit doing this? At least veggies are still edible after a girl uses them! - assuming she’s not diseased.

More watermelon fucking! After this video and the last one, watermelon will never just be a happy, summer day fruit again.

And I don’t think I can ever look at whipped cream in the same way either.

Close your eyes while watching this. It actually sounds like normal sex - well slightly squishy, but still mostly normal sex.

Open your eyes and … he’s fucking a watermelon. Yes, a watermelon. Women use vegetables in the ass and men use fruit.

Maybe vegetables in the ass is just too gay for you. Well, that’s definitely a vegetable of some kind in her pussy… wtf is it? I’m not really a veggie girl, though the look of that thing makes me reconsider.

Toys or cocks in the ass just don't do it for you? How about vegetables? Watch this girl stuff a cucumber up her ass. Oh, and she's wearing a cat mask too if that does anything for you.

So maybe you don't like your ass gaping to be forced? If not, this woman seems to delight in it. She delights in anal so much that she wants more cocks in her ass at once. How about three in the butt at the same time?

I have no idea when a skill like this would become useful in life, but clearly her pussy is just as stretched out as that ass, so it’s like having 2 skills. Or is it 6 skills? Is it one skill per cock you can fit in your ass and cunt?

A happy fourth of July ass destruction for you!

It doesn't really look like this guy meant for it to be sexual, and the laughter of his friends suggests they're all very drunk. Nevertheless, this firework is between his bare ass cheeks and someone probably finds that sexy.

So here you are MSFTS, an M-60 lit in a guy's ass. Happy Independence Day!

In case you guys think I'm being too vicious with the trampling cock fetish and other cock torture fetishes, let's move on to some other body parts. How about some anus stretching instead?

Watch this girl get her asshole gaping and stretching on toys and dicks. Bonus higheels fetish points for doing it in heels for no reason.

While I'm on all this cock torture, let's talk about condoms. Be warned, this is a post from a few years ago when I was still in college.

This isn't really a fetish so much as something I just want to get off my chest.

Don’t get this wrong based on the title. I would never want to be a man and when the brief, fleeting thought has come into my mind I can’t help but laugh at the vision of myself without my wonderful breasts and with those funny, saggy, dangly bits between my legs. The female form is far more attractive and aesthetically more pleasing than the male form and I would have it no other way.

What got me to write this though, is that I heard a couple boys talking at lunch and they were discussing how one had not gotten laid last night despite his girlfriend ‘wanting it so bad’. He then proceeded to complain that she didn’t keep condoms in her room and so they couldn’t fuck. My first instinct was, why didn’t you bring a condom with you if you were planning to get laid?

Of course, the friends began discussing this by his friend saying, “If she wanted to get fucked then she should have had condoms there.” HA! Really? Is this what all men think? If so, I have a rude awakening for you. We pay a lot of money each year simply for being female. The least a man could do is pay for the condoms, no matter who it is that wants to get laid. If you can’t afford them, guess what, you don’t need to be rutting with anyone.

So why do I think that girls who plan on having sex don’t have a duty to keep condoms around?(barring prostitutes who should carry multiple condoms of extreme thickness). It’s the man’s job. Until a man bleeds monthly and has to pay the extreme cost for the necessity of pads or tampons, until a man has to pay for birth control, until a man has to pay for bras(which some men probably should) the man is the one who should have the duty to provide condoms.

Women spend, $135 on feminine necessities(bras, pads, tampons) and this is a low end estimate assuming that you have only two bras and purchase only pads, not tampons as well. Assuming you use birth control, there is an extra $140 or more per year. Condoms cost about $10 for a nice size box. I guarantee, no matter how talented you think you are, you will not need to purchase more than 4 of these boxes. If you do, your girlfriend is probably wishing you would get off her already. So suck it up already. Buy the condoms if you want laid and I’ll make sure I don’t bleed on your furniture. We’re even.