Okay, okay, you fuckin' pervs! I knew just one measly photo wasn't going to tide you over all night, not while you're all hyped up on candy. So here. I went out and found a really slutty chick who is ready to fuck the sense right out of the headless horseman. Wait, can he have sense without a head?

Oh whatever, you don't care about logistics. Here. Get your jollies and your rocks off all in one.

Happy Halloween, dear MSFTs!

Another Halloween and you're sitting at home by yourself, pulling your pud to weird porn? It's okay, I knew you'd be here. That's why I came prepared.


I can't read the signature and the site I found this on didn't give credit so if you are the artist or know the artist or can read that signature, let me know and I'll give credit where it's due.

Now, go dream of shoving Jackolanterns up a girl's cunt and leave me alone, you pervs; I have trick-or-treating to do.

Okay, this is more than just a Human Centipede scene, this is the full second movie, known as The Human Centipede II: Full Sequence.

I don't get it. I love horror movies, but this wasn't scary at all. It wasn't even as disgusting as most people kept making it out to be. Sure, there's some blood and the whole idea of ass to mouth centipede people is pretty disgusting, but this movie has absolutely no substance beyond that. It's just really, really boring.

I guess this would feed the needs of a shit fetish person though. Really, that's the only way I could ever imagine someone might find this interesting; they have a shit fetish.

I was going to say this was the start of a Halloween marathon, but seeing as it's not scary, I feel like I'd be lying.

I love these spoof pornos. Star Trek porno. The only thing more entertaining is Batman porno, and really, that's just my preference for Batman.

Get your geek on; cum long and procreate.

Even carrots need love.

Okay, this was on Tosh.0. Again, the boyfriend found this; he really has terrible taste and I can't figure out if it's because he's looking for weird porn to jerk to or if he just has bad enough taste to like Tosh.0. I'd really rather he look it up for masturbation purposes.

You know, people go to really strange lengths to masturbate. I mean, we spend millions on porn and sex toys every year in the world.

And all this time you could have been getting sex toys completely free!

Apparently, to shit fetish people, shit is multipurpose. It not only goes into a toilet bowel, gets eaten or squishes in your pants (seriously, what is wrong with these shit fetish people?), it can be used to masturbate.

My boyfriend sent this to me. I really, really hate my boyfriend. Though I guess he was getting me back because I usually test all this material on him - and without warning about what pictures I'm sending. Is it naked pictures of me? Or a woman masturbating with shit?

There is so much weird here, I'm not even sure where to start. So midget, clown, obesity, diaper play, birthday party.

Go!