Is this a birthing fetish or anal bizarre fetish? I'm really just horribly confused... and really scared by this. I mean, those things look like real babies to an extent! They're all wrinkly like newborns and covered in Vaseline. If only he'd put red food coloring in the Vaseline it would have looked even more real!

I have seen some weird advanced masturbation techniques in my time running this blog. I have also seen some pretty bizarre fisting. Never before have I seen the two combined so seemlessly, except, perhaps, by Max Hardcore (whom I need to introduce you to soon).

This guy actually jerks himself off while fucking her in the ass. That's some serious talent... or creepiness, I'm not really sure.

People who masturbate on video without actually doing anything are obviously never going to make it onto this site. So why on earth, you may ask, am I posting what looks like some regular dude jerking off with a mask on?

Well, play the video and you'll see. As I do not have a penis, I'm not sure if this is something that's difficult to accomplish, if every guy does it at least once in his life, or what, but this made me laugh so damn hard just because all those streams of cum are slapping him right in the face. Good thing he wore the mask, right?

Because I know you've been waiting for it, here is episode 2 of the Sailor Moon and the 7 Balls hentai. The poor animation just seems to get worse as does the weirdness of this hentai.

It's my birthday and I wanted to celebrate with all my MSFTs. So I brought you all cake! That's right, I bought enough cake for all of you. How old am I? Shut up and eat your cake.

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                                  %%%%%%%
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                                    %%%  Susie Oviatt
                                   %%%%%
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                            %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Be warned, this happened to it at the store. Not sure if you really want to eat cake made by a guy with a food fetish. But hey, if you're feeling adventurous, eat up.

As stated before, foot fetishes are usually pretty tame. But then people do weird highheels fetish porn where they lick the inside of their sweaty highheels. This guy decides a stiletto is the perfect advanced masturbation techniques toy. And why the hell not? Just look at that long, smooth... pointy... painful-looking highheel.

What is a guy to do when he can't get a date for Valentines Day? Using an advanced masturbation technique is obviously necessary to ensure the best holiday cheer, but what you really want is a blowjob on Valentines Day.

Creating your own autofellation video is the answer!

This guy doesn't need a Valentines Day date, he can give himself all the love he needs. Stick with the video to the end; I know it's long, but the cumshot boogers about 12 minutes in had me simultaneously gagging and laughing.

As usual, I almost always end up focusing on the 'male fantasy' during holidays - of course, most porn is made for men so that could be why, and also, most men have the weirdest fucking fetishes they want women to live out, but are too pussy to ask a real woman to do. Thus, sex fetish porn is born.

Anyway, rambling aside, I bring a little something for the ladies and a tiny something for the plushie yiff fans.

What do you mean posing your cock with stuffed animals is weird? And that the odd montage of a random girl at the end is weird? Obviously you're just crazy because this is what every girl wants for Valentines Day.

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. The holiday season has seen me coming(cumming?) and going quite a bit and I just haven't had time for much else. I come baring Christmas spirit with me today and for the next few days though!

What do you mean spelling Santa in the special cum snow won't make him come...cum faster?

The faster you get here, Santa, the sooner I can put weird stuff like this away.

Today I want to introduce you to this weird product I found. It's an alternative for blowup dolls and plushies. When you have a plushie sex fetish and a blowup dolls fetish, this little sex toy is just what you need.

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Here at Mystery Sex Fetish Theater, we love Halloween. No other night of the year can you dress up as your darkest desires and hide the fact that it's your fantasy. Always dreamed you were a monster sent to ravage and rape women? You can do it on Halloween - minus the real raping, but hey, enough women get drunk on Halloween you could probably have a damn good time.

Always wanted to be an Xmen porn character like Wolverine? Well you probably won't look like him, but suck in that gut, put on some yellow spandex and try anyway! The redhead you find to be Jean Grey probably won't mind.

When anthro horses aren't hung enough, when even sexy anthro whales are too small, become a sexy anthro dinosaur.

When being hung like a sexy anthro horse just isn't enough, you could always turn to whale meat.

This guy claims he's a sexy ninja but he looks more like he's wearing a really bad wrestling costume. Watch as he jerks off, just for you, in his ninja/lucha libre costume.

Who needs to spend money on a vase or a sex plushie when you can just buy some yoga classes and get the job done yourself?

As a non-penis baring individual I’m not sure if, if I had a penis, I’d be jealous of not being able to do this myself or if I’d find it weird.

As a woman, I’m positive that I wish all men would learn to do this and leave women alone unless they offer such a service - or you paid for it. Your dick is not as tasty as you think.

Don't just rub on things like balloons and inflatable zebras, actually stick that dick in something!

Women and gay men stick things in themselves all the time for the amusement of perverts and MSFTs so it's only fitting that men should stick their dicks into strange things for our amusement as well.

Would you feel bad if you were on the beach playing beach volleyball and someone was more interested in the ball than you?

Beach ball sex is like balloon sex, but without the risk of popping. So if you’re into not popping balloons for sexual pleasure, maybe you should look into a beach ball.

Did you, once upon a time, fear you were a pedophile because you got excited everytime you were at a children's party? Did you later discover it was not the snot-nosed children that were exciting you, but the smell of latex and the feel of electro-static prickling the hair on the back of your neck that got your cock standing on end - or pussy all gushing wet?

Hey, just because I told you how to modify a sex plushie doesn't mean I'm going to tell you how to have sex with an inflatable zebra.

In fact, I'll do you one better and show you a video of how to do it. No, it's not me teaching. This guy is going to teach you, because according to his photo and video library, he's an inflatable sex toy loving expert. Let him share his inflatable-animal loving knowledge with you.