I wonder if this guy realizes that fucking a real sex doll with a fuck machine isn't going to do anyone any good.

These Japanese love doll/real doll toys look pretty realistic, but they're not, right? I mean, they're really not, right? There's not an adult version of Toy Story out there, is there?

Happy Halloween, dear MSFTs!

Another Halloween and you're sitting at home by yourself, pulling your pud to weird porn? It's okay, I knew you'd be here. That's why I came prepared.


I can't read the signature and the site I found this on didn't give credit so if you are the artist or know the artist or can read that signature, let me know and I'll give credit where it's due.

Now, go dream of shoving Jackolanterns up a girl's cunt and leave me alone, you pervs; I have trick-or-treating to do.

Is this a birthing fetish or anal bizarre fetish? I'm really just horribly confused... and really scared by this. I mean, those things look like real babies to an extent! They're all wrinkly like newborns and covered in Vaseline. If only he'd put red food coloring in the Vaseline it would have looked even more real!

It's my birthday and I wanted to celebrate with all my MSFTs. So I brought you all cake! That's right, I bought enough cake for all of you. How old am I? Shut up and eat your cake.

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                                  %%%%%%%
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                                    %%%  Susie Oviatt
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Be warned, this happened to it at the store. Not sure if you really want to eat cake made by a guy with a food fetish. But hey, if you're feeling adventurous, eat up.

As stated before, foot fetishes are usually pretty tame. But then people do weird highheels fetish porn where they lick the inside of their sweaty highheels. This guy decides a stiletto is the perfect advanced masturbation techniques toy. And why the hell not? Just look at that long, smooth... pointy... painful-looking highheel.

I waited until after Valentines Day to share these precious desserts because... well it's obviously not Valentines Day desserts that they're using. It is really freaky though and all the leftover Valentines candy I saw at the store made me think about this.

Two late 30's women are dressed up in slutty clothing in childish colors, one of them even looks like that pink haired girl from Lazy Town, and one gets big suckers shoved up her pussy.

Serious pussy stretching going on with candy; I ... never wanted to imagine this at all, but now I do want to laugh at it.

You know, usually I post videos to laugh at. Usually, all us MSFTs get together and have a great giggle over people's weird fetishes, poorly made videos and all that. But while looking for the perfect Valentines Day present to complete the virtual Valentines gift baskets I've put together here, I found this video.

I did not laugh. Instead, I sat and stared, absolutely transfixed by the erotic, sensual nature of the video.

Perhaps that is the mystery for the sex fetish theater today. How some porn can actually captivate you and seem loving.

Enjoy your Valentines Day gift, MSFTs. I don't see many more videos like this happening.

These aren't really Valentines day balloons, I guess since they're all kinds of colors, but the soft, pastel colors make me think of Valentines Day anyway.

This girl is getting her introduction into the balloon looner fetish; Valentines Day balloon popping fetish for your lolling pleasure. Or if you're feeling daring today, go set up your own Valentines Day games in a bathtub full of balloons! Remember, even if they're latex, they don't protect from STDs, pregnancy or... anything really. You might even get a rash on your snatch.

...just sayin'.

I've decided to give you more Belladonna. Why? Because that woman is a freak and there is no better fodder for my blog than the freaks of porn.

To be honest, this video seems tame to me just because it's the only Belladonna video I've seen where she's not taking fists or feet up her stretched vagina and ass. The fact that she's being milked like a cow though is pretty hilariously redeeming. Watch the nipple pumping madness!

More bonus points for lesbians!

I realized, in the beginning of this blog of the weird, macabre and questionably sexy, I did quite a few videos of peehole sounding. It has occurred to me that all of those were being done by men. Never fear, women get into peehole play too.

This one is a lesbian though, so don't get too excited, boys.

Today I want to introduce you to this weird product I found. It's an alternative for blowup dolls and plushies. When you have a plushie sex fetish and a blowup dolls fetish, this little sex toy is just what you need.

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Don't just rub on things like balloons and inflatable zebras, actually stick that dick in something!

Women and gay men stick things in themselves all the time for the amusement of perverts and MSFTs so it's only fitting that men should stick their dicks into strange things for our amusement as well.

Would you feel bad if you were on the beach playing beach volleyball and someone was more interested in the ball than you?

Beach ball sex is like balloon sex, but without the risk of popping. So if you’re into not popping balloons for sexual pleasure, maybe you should look into a beach ball.

Did you, once upon a time, fear you were a pedophile because you got excited everytime you were at a children's party? Did you later discover it was not the snot-nosed children that were exciting you, but the smell of latex and the feel of electro-static prickling the hair on the back of your neck that got your cock standing on end - or pussy all gushing wet?

Hey, just because I told you how to modify a sex plushie doesn't mean I'm going to tell you how to have sex with an inflatable zebra.

In fact, I'll do you one better and show you a video of how to do it. No, it's not me teaching. This guy is going to teach you, because according to his photo and video library, he's an inflatable sex toy loving expert. Let him share his inflatable-animal loving knowledge with you.

Women have a vegetable fetish so apparently guys have fruit fetishes.

One of the comments on this video says this is a ‘classic’ technique. WTF? Guys regularly waste fruit doing this? At least veggies are still edible after a girl uses them! - assuming she’s not diseased.

More watermelon fucking! After this video and the last one, watermelon will never just be a happy, summer day fruit again.

And I don’t think I can ever look at whipped cream in the same way either.

Close your eyes while watching this. It actually sounds like normal sex - well slightly squishy, but still mostly normal sex.

Open your eyes and … he’s fucking a watermelon. Yes, a watermelon. Women use vegetables in the ass and men use fruit.

Maybe vegetables in the ass is just too gay for you. Well, that’s definitely a vegetable of some kind in her pussy… wtf is it? I’m not really a veggie girl, though the look of that thing makes me reconsider.